


Misery Loves Company

by ambrolen



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, M/M, Minor Jane Crocker/Jake English, Minor John Egbert/Dave Strider, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 19:11:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20140555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambrolen/pseuds/ambrolen
Summary: Dave and John are together. Jake and Jane are together.Karkat and Dirk couldn't be fucking happier, really.





	Misery Loves Company

**Author's Note:**

> I'm double checking for weird shit, but just fyi I typed this up on my phone so blame weirdness on autocorrect XP

Karkat was happy for Dave and John, he really was, but he wished he could be happy for them alone, at home, not at a bar he was dragged to and quite able to see how happy _they _were. They were trying to be subtle about their affection, but it was easy to tell if you were looking. Stolen glances. Brushing fingers. Both lingering just a little too long. Karkat needed to stop looking. They were trying to be respectful of his feelings, and somehow that made him feel even worse. He stared into his half-empty glass for a moment then downed it. 

"Another vodka for the lady," someone said, sliding up next to him. The bartender nodded and Karkat glared up at the intruder. Great. The other Strider. "It was water, asshole."

Dirk didn't turn to look at him. "How do you know the lady I'm referring to isn't me? Awfully presumptuous."

Karkat rolled his eyes. "What do you want, Strider 2?"

"Why does Dave get to be player one?"

"Because I knew him first, dumbass!"

Dirk took a sip of the drink the bartender slid over to him and grimaced, then slid it to Karkat. "Your water, madame."

Karkat grabbed the glass and sulked into it, not drinking, just glaring. "If you're looking for entertainment, go find your boytoy," he growled.

Dirk sighed dramatically. "I'm afraid I came to join the lonely hearts club," he said, gesturing to the corner of the bar where Jake and Jane were smashed against the wall displaying some _serious _PDA. 

"Sorry," Karkat mumbled. 

Dirk shrugged. "It was inevitable. I was just an overeager placeholder."

Karkat involuntarily glanced back at Dave and John, who were laughing, shoulders and heads pressed together conspiratorially. "Yeah."

Dirk nudged him with his elbow. "Plenty of time for self-pity later, though. Time to live it up and drown yourself in booze or Faygo or whatever the hell you trolls drink to get down and dirty."

Karkat snorted. "I don't need any help looking like as much of an idiot as these fucking clowns, thanks."

Dirk raised an imaginary glass. "Cheers to that."

They sat in silence for a while, staring at their hands, letting their thoughts spiral slowly down. 

Dirk cleared his throat. "I'm sorry about you and my bro, by the way." Karkat looked up, but Dirk's head was angled the other direction. "I was rootin' for you."

Karkat slid his once again empty glass back and forth between his hands. "Thanks," he muttered. "Same to-- You know what? Not same to you!" Karkat was suddenly at attention, his body swung around toward Dirk, one fist on the bar, the other in his lap. 

Dirk looked at him, face neutral. "Gee, thanks, dude."

"You're welcome! I'm being serious here! That was a shit relationship for both of you. He took you for granted and left when things got too hard so he could be COMFORTABLE rather than challenged! Fuck Dave! Fuck John! And fuck Jake!" Karkat was shouting now and Dirk stared at him, eyebrows raised, mouth slightly open. 

The bar was loud, but not so loud that a Karkat tantrum went unnoticed. A couple of looks were passed, and Dave and Jake made their way over. 

"Is this guy bothering you, Karkat?" Dave asked, smirking. 

"Yes, I hope he's not giving you too much trouble," Jake said, elbowing Dirk. 

"We're fine!" Karkat growled. 

"We're fine," Dirk agreed. 

"In fact YOU are bothering US!" Karkat jabbed a clawed finger into their chests and the pair fell back in shock. 

"Kar--" Dave began. 

"No! I'm done! Let's go, Dirk!" And before anyone realized what he was doing, Karkat grabbed Dirk's hand and Dirk was all but helpless to follow his hurried footsteps out the bar and down the street. 

Dirk allowed himself to be led along for a few blocks silently, then Karkat dropped his hand, threw himself back into the side of a building, then let his body drag down until he was sitting on the ground. Dirk took a seat next to him and leaned his head back into the brick wall, watching Karkat out the corner of his eye as the troll tried to smother himself with his hands. 

"So," Dirk said. 

"Don't," Karkat groaned. 

Dirk didn't. He was content sitting, still and quiet, until Karkat regained as much composure as he ever was able to have. 

"Sorry for dragging you into this," he finally said. 

"You didn't drag me into anything, dude."

"Yes I did. I literally took you by the hand and literally dragged you out of the bar and into my own private pity party." He was gruff, but apologetic and a touch mortified. 

Dirk turned to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "For one, no one makes a Strider do shit. If I didn't wanna be rescued from that bar, you wouldn't have been able to whisk me off my feet." Karkat snorted. "Two, you're not the king of pity parties and I don't see why we can't go halfsies on the chips and coke and have a good, miserable time together."

"Yeah, because two dudes whining about how pathetic they are sounds like a fantastic fucking time. Great idea, Strider." Karkat rolled his eyes. 

A smirk threatened to emerge on Dirk's lips. "Now don't go putting words in my mouth. I specifically said a miserable time, not a fantastic one."

Karkat just snorted again.

Dirk removed his hand from Karkat's shoulder and ran it through his own hair. "Are you planning on heading back in, or should I walk you home?"

"Oh, glob, no! I'm not going back in there! I'm heading home. Without an escort because I'm not five fucking sweeps old."

Dirk shrugged. "Your loss." He stretched, preparing to stand, but instead swiftly swept in and placed a light kiss on Karkat's temple. "Thanks," he murmured. Then he got up and casually walked back to the bar.

Karkat eventually managed to shake off his surprise. "Mother. Fucking. STRIDERS!"


End file.
